I Look to You

I Look to You

I love this song.  I've probably heard it 1,000 times over the last week.  I fell in love with it on Glee. Then when Whitney Houston died last week, they have played it over and over.  R. Kelly wrote this song for her.  Yesterday he sang it at her funeral.   Truly beautiful.

When I started this blog, it was just an experiment.  I used to write a lot.  I've even published a few articles about grieving and in regards to the Ministry I feel the Lord is leading me.  I guess I have had a "writer's block".  

So, not too surprising, I turn to music to help me out...  I used to write the music too.  I have not even played the piano or guitar in several years.  It's not that I don't have the thoughts,  probably have too many thoughts, but I'm having trouble getting the words out and on paper or typing at the computer.  It is wonderful that when I cannot find the words myself, I can share the music with you. Music can transport us to experiences, people, places, makes us happy, sad, etc.  St. Augustine says that "He who sings, prays twice."  God knows what is in the depth of my heart. 

The last few years have been challenging to say the least.  My health problems, being on a feeding tube for over 4 years now.  Port-a-cath's. CT Scans, Blood clots and a mass in my left lung, now with acute renal failure.  Blood thinner shots daily in my abdomen... too much one week, not enough the next.  I don't get over one thing before I get something else.  I told one of the Sisters that I am not scared.  Well, I am anxious. Even our Lord asked our Father to take the cup. He was subject to the Father's Holy Will. It would be easier if we knew exactly what the problem is, so we can either treat it or accept it.   Is "this" my Cross that God has sent to me? I must pray for healing and also for surrender. 

I turned 50 in October, and I have to think about a lot of things.  Especially my health.  We are all going to die one day.  We are not guaranteed the next breath we take. our very next beat of our heart.  I have always said I would rather die of a disease rather than heart attack or in an accident.      

So, right now I lay it all down at Jesus' feet.  I can do that... but most of the time I take it back.  I guess a game of  "tug of war."  

Let the words to this song speak to you...

I Look to You

As I lay me down

Heaven hear me now

I'm lost without a cause

After giving it my all

Winter storms have come

And darkened my sun

After all that I've been through

Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you

I look to you

After all my strength is gone

In you I can be strong

I look to you

I look to you

And when melodies are gone


In you I hear a song


I look to you




About to lose my breath


There's no more fighting left


Sinking to rise no more


Searching for that open door




And every road that I've taken


Led to my regret


And I don't know if I'm gonna make it


Nothing to do but lift my head






I look to you


I look to you


After all my strength is gone


In you I can be strong


I look to you


I look to you


And when melodies are gone


In you I hear a song


I look to you






My levees are broken


My walls are coming down on me


My rain is falling


Defeat is calling


I need you to set me free


Take me far away from the battle


I need you to


Shine on me!


I look to you


I look to you


After all my strength is gone


In you I can be strong


I look to you


I look to you


And when melodies are gone


In you I hear a song


I look to you


I look to you